The Stage of Understanding (Part Three, Chapter Three)

After so many interrogations with O'Brien, I had become quite proficient at avoiding pain. I simply had to think on my feet and respond intelligently. As always, I enjoyed talking with O'Brien, but at the same time I hated it. He could predict every possible response or argument of mine, and was always able to thwart it with the Party's ridiculous logic. The first time I was hurt in a long time is when O'Brien asked me why the Party should want power. I answered with the most likely response of that the Party wanted power to help guide the people. I was immediately silenced by the wave of pain that flowed through my body. O'Brien said that the Party wanted power for simply the sake of having power. They only wanted to have complete control over everyone for all time to come. He went on to say that the Party made the rules of science and that they are the most powerful group anywhere. I knew that I was right, but he always had a reason to back up his opinion. It was so frustrating to deal with him. The most shocking moment of the questionng period though, was when O'Brien told me to stand up and look up at myself in the mirror. I saw a skeleton figure staring back at me when I did so. I saw how terribly I had been treated during the time I was there. When I accused O'Brien of doing it to me, he said that I had done it to myself. I felt even more helpless and weak after this. But I still had something that they had not gotten to. I had my beliefs tucked away in my inner mind, and I still had my love for Julia.