The "Learning" Phase (Part Three, Chapter Two)

After endless beatings in the hands of mindless thugs, I was physically destroyed. I had confessed everything I had done, even actions that I had not committed. I whimpered at every blow and soon would cry and beg even before the beatings had started. Then my interrogations changed form to where I was yelled at and questioned by various Party intellectuals, who used less hurtful methods of physical torture. But their words were the most painful, and all I could do was sob in response to them. I felt utterly helpless at all of this, and I just wished that it would stop. Then one day I was strapped to a bed and O'Brien was next to me. He administered a terrible sort of pain to me, that cause me to feel like I was being ripped apart. O'Brien began to talk to me as if I was a student who he thought was promising, and who he desires to spend time on. He would ask me questions that I had to answer cleverly, otherwise I would be hurt again. Although he was the one who administered the pain, I felt that O'Brien was my protector, since he so graciously stopped the pain. I felt like he was so powerful and intelligent, that he could defeat any argument I proposed, even though I knew I was always right. He used pain as a way to get me to believe the impossible. I could only hope that I would be able to keep my inner mind safe, and clear from the nonsense I was being told.