A New Love (Part Three, Chapter Six)

I was in the Chestnut Tree Cafe. They had released me, and given me a new job having to do with some unimportant aspect of the Newspeak language. They did not care what I did any more. I had met with Julia after we were both released. She had changed significantly. She told me that she had betrayed me. I told her that I had done the same. I could tell that she hated me. I could also tell she was not the same person any longer. I was thinking about all of this while I sat in the cafe and drank the horrible Victory Gin. The telescreen had reported that the Party was fighting Eurasia (the current enemy) in Africa. I hoped that the Party would defeat them, but it did not seem likely, in their current situation. I remembered times from my childhood, when I was with my family. But they were false memories. They were not real. O'Brien had proved that to me. Yet I still hated Big Brother. Then a trumpet call issued from the telescreen. The Party had won. Everyone around me was quite ecstatic. I knew that the Party would win, even despite all of my doubts. Then it happened. I felt the last change happen. I looked up at the huge poster of Big Brother on the wall. I loved him. It was over. The Party had won.

Room 101 (Part Three, Chapter Five)

I was locked into a chair so that I could not move, in a fairly large cell, with two tables in it. I felt fear, but I did not know what to be afraid of. Then O'Brien entered the room. A guard came in after him and placed a small box on a table on the other side of the room. O'Brien began talking about the worst fears in the world for different people. I could see that the box on the table had some sort of mask-like attachment on its side. It seemed to be divided into two compartments. Inside each compartment were rats. I felt a terrible fear run through my body. I seemed to have gone wild. I could tell what was going to happen now. I screamed out in blind panic. O'Brien continued to talk in his didactic manner. O'Brien brought the cage over and put it on the table closer to me. I could not think at all. All I could do was yell for O'Brien to stop. He picked up the cage and began to put it nearer to my face. I realized I had to think of a solution to escape. Then I realized I had to interpose the body of another person in between myself and the rats. As the mask started to touch my face, I yelled out for O'Brien to do it to anyone but me. I said do it to Julia. I had left the room in my mind and was flying through all of creation. But O'Brien was still at my side. I could hear the click of the cage shut. I felt a huge amount of relief. But I had betrayed Julia. They had finally gotten me.

Recuperation (Part Three, Chapter Four)

Finally, I could relax. I was placed in a cell that felt fairly comfortable, and I was fed three meals per day. I was allowed much time to recuperate. Most of the time I just slept. But I soon started to exercise myself and walk around. I started to write on a slate that they gave me. I felt that I had been converted; I was totally on their side, except for deep down inside me, where I still held my true beliefs. Then, after so long of doing so well, I yelled out in my sleep for Julia. I had ruined everything. O'Brien and a guard soon came to the door. O'Brien said I was to go to Room 101. I felt great panic. I had no idea what was to come, but I knew I would not like it. I knew all along that I would be sentenced to go there though. It had just been a matter of time before it happened.

The Stage of Understanding (Part Three, Chapter Three)

After so many interrogations with O'Brien, I had become quite proficient at avoiding pain. I simply had to think on my feet and respond intelligently. As always, I enjoyed talking with O'Brien, but at the same time I hated it. He could predict every possible response or argument of mine, and was always able to thwart it with the Party's ridiculous logic. The first time I was hurt in a long time is when O'Brien asked me why the Party should want power. I answered with the most likely response of that the Party wanted power to help guide the people. I was immediately silenced by the wave of pain that flowed through my body. O'Brien said that the Party wanted power for simply the sake of having power. They only wanted to have complete control over everyone for all time to come. He went on to say that the Party made the rules of science and that they are the most powerful group anywhere. I knew that I was right, but he always had a reason to back up his opinion. It was so frustrating to deal with him. The most shocking moment of the questionng period though, was when O'Brien told me to stand up and look up at myself in the mirror. I saw a skeleton figure staring back at me when I did so. I saw how terribly I had been treated during the time I was there. When I accused O'Brien of doing it to me, he said that I had done it to myself. I felt even more helpless and weak after this. But I still had something that they had not gotten to. I had my beliefs tucked away in my inner mind, and I still had my love for Julia.

The "Learning" Phase (Part Three, Chapter Two)

After endless beatings in the hands of mindless thugs, I was physically destroyed. I had confessed everything I had done, even actions that I had not committed. I whimpered at every blow and soon would cry and beg even before the beatings had started. Then my interrogations changed form to where I was yelled at and questioned by various Party intellectuals, who used less hurtful methods of physical torture. But their words were the most painful, and all I could do was sob in response to them. I felt utterly helpless at all of this, and I just wished that it would stop. Then one day I was strapped to a bed and O'Brien was next to me. He administered a terrible sort of pain to me, that cause me to feel like I was being ripped apart. O'Brien began to talk to me as if I was a student who he thought was promising, and who he desires to spend time on. He would ask me questions that I had to answer cleverly, otherwise I would be hurt again. Although he was the one who administered the pain, I felt that O'Brien was my protector, since he so graciously stopped the pain. I felt like he was so powerful and intelligent, that he could defeat any argument I proposed, even though I knew I was always right. He used pain as a way to get me to believe the impossible. I could only hope that I would be able to keep my inner mind safe, and clear from the nonsense I was being told.

Starvation and Confusion (Part Three, Chapter One)

When I was first placed in the jail along with proletariat prisoners and other Party prisoners, I felt uncomfortable and worried. But most of all I was fearful. I was not scared of the rough prisoners around me, but instead of what would happen to me soon to come. I knew there would be terrible pain and horrible methods of torture awaiting me in the following days. When I was moved into another cell, I was racked by a terrible starvation that gnawed at me for what seemed like many days. When I encountered Ampleforth in the cell, I was surprised, but when Parsons was put in the cell, I was thoroughly shocked. I did not think that he would ever be brought into the Ministry of Love. After that, when many different prisoners arrived, I sat silently and did not say anything. I was frightened at the harsh punishment that a chinless prisoner received for trying to give a piece of read to another starving man. When the guards came to take the starving man away to someplace called Room 101, he screamed and protested with all his might, but he was still taken there. I am still confused about what is in Room 101 exactly, and I am afraid to know. Finally, I was alone again. Then O'Brien entered the room with a guard carrying a truncheon. I was amazed that O'Brien was here too, but I could not understand why. Then the guard hit me on the elbow with the truncheon. I had thought about whether I would be willing to increase physical pain to save Julia. I had decided that I could not do it. The pain was unbearable. It was not worth it to increase my pain for Julia's sake. All I could do was beg for mercy and hope my torturers would stop.

Capture (Part Two, Chapter Ten)

I felt completely content after resting after the many days that I spent at the office. I had really come to enjoy my meetings with Julia. We were standing looking out the window at a prole woman singing as she did laundry. Although it felt so perfect and so right standing there, I knew that it could not last for long. Soon we would be caught, and we may never see each other again. But we had to enjoy every moment of life until then. Just at that moment when we were looking out the window, a voice from a telescreen spoke behind us. We had been caught. Soon the room was filled with police, and then Mr. Charrington entered. I realized he had been a member of the Thoughtpolice all along. The guards smashed the little snow globe to pieces. I realized then how small and futile our rebellion had been against such a powerful adversary as the Party. All I could do was hope that I would not lose Julia, and that she would be all right.